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in General · December 8, 2021

Dear Teens: Sorry/Not Sorry for Being That Mom

dear teens sorry I'm that mom

Dear teens, I’m sorry you got “that” mom.l

I’m sorry you got that mom who will always ask where you are going—and actually expect you to be there.

I’m sorry you got that mom who wants to meet the parents of the house you want to go to, or the boy you want to date, or the friend you want to spend time with after school.

I’m sorry you got that mom who checks your screen time and your social media and your entire phone every once in awhile. 

I’m sorry you got that mom who expects you to carry your weight around the house, who thinks doing things like emptying the dishwasher and washing your own clothes and making your bed are important life skills.

I’m sorry you got that mom who lets you fail sometimes. I’m sorry I don’t always bring the gym uniform you left sitting on the counter or your homework sitting on your desk to school. It hurts my heart when something bad happens to you, but I hope the consequences teach you more.

I’m sorry you got that mom who says no when all the rest of the moms are saying yes. I know that sucks for you. It sucks for me, too. Sometimes other parents don’t like it when I’m “that” mom, either.

It’s a delicate balancing act, raising you.

I want you to be independent, yet one mistake can change the trajectory of your young life. I want you to be accepted by your peers, but not at the expense of risking safety. I want you to become trustworthy, but sometimes I know—or you’ve demonstrated—you can’t yet be trusted.

So, I’m “that” mom. Just like my mom was “that” mom, too.

And I hope one day you’ll understand. I hope one day you’ll appreciate the fact that holding you accountable, setting limits, letting you learn from your mistakes—being “that” mom—is the greatest way I can show my love for you.

But until that time, I’m (kind of) sorry you got stuck with me. I know it makes you embarrassed, I know it takes away some of your fun, I know it sometimes makes your relationships contentious or difficult.

So, I’ll say yes when I can, when it comes to your style or your activities or what you want to get out of your future.

I want you to be happy and enjoy life. It’s nice when you fit in. And sometimes I don’t want a knock-down, drag-out fight about every ask, either.

But there are times when saying no is important, even when—especially when—every other parent is saying yes.

Unfortunately for you, though, I’m going to keep being “that” mom, and that’s just the way it’s going to be.

Next Post: Dear Daughter, One Day We Will Be Friends But Not Today »

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whitneyflemingwrites

Formerly playdatesonfridays • mom of 3 teens • sharing stories so others feel less alone • work @parentingteensandtweens Get my book ⬇️ link in bio

Whitney Fleming
I try to remind my kids of this all the time. Have I try to remind my kids of this all the time. Have your best life by living it, not by showing it on social media. The more you are posting your highlights, the more I start wondering what's behind that social media curtain. From the very wise @stevebartlettsc
Remember when you thought 40 was old???? Via @cono Remember when you thought 40 was old???? Via @conorotool
I know it's hard to believe, but mom always knows! I know it's hard to believe, but mom always knows! From my friend @msawesomemother 😂😂
I thought I would cry at my twin daughters' high s I thought I would cry at my twin daughters' high school graduation yesterday. And I did.

But not for the reasons I felt the last few weeks as I watched everything coming to an end.

I cried because I saw so much joy.

Joy in the embrace of an 81-year-old grandmother getting to see another baby graduate.

Joy in the faces of other parents who weren't sure they would get to this point.

Joy in the remarks of teachers who saw their hard work pay off.

And joy--so much joy--in the bright smiles of teenagers who felt accomplished, who felt excitement, who felt ready to take on what's next.

My heart is still sad for what was. I loved this part of my life, and I will feel grief that it is over.

Time will heal my sorrow, but I can live in joy today.

There is a cycle to parenthood that we all experience differently. There are periods of time we wish would move faster and moments we wish would never end.

And sometimes in a sea of emotions, we can choose joy.

Because it's all around us if we open our eyes to see it. 

*I hope you will check out my new book! Link is in my bio.

#graduation2023 #lettinggo #lovinghardwhentheyrehardtolove
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whitneyflemingwrites

Formerly playdatesonfridays • mom of 3 teens • sharing stories so others feel less alone • work @parentingteensandtweens Get my book ⬇️ link in bio

Whitney Fleming
I try to remind my kids of this all the time. Have I try to remind my kids of this all the time. Have your best life by living it, not by showing it on social media. The more you are posting your highlights, the more I start wondering what's behind that social media curtain. From the very wise @stevebartlettsc
Remember when you thought 40 was old???? Via @cono Remember when you thought 40 was old???? Via @conorotool
I know it's hard to believe, but mom always knows! I know it's hard to believe, but mom always knows! From my friend @msawesomemother 😂😂
I thought I would cry at my twin daughters' high s I thought I would cry at my twin daughters' high school graduation yesterday. And I did.

But not for the reasons I felt the last few weeks as I watched everything coming to an end.

I cried because I saw so much joy.

Joy in the embrace of an 81-year-old grandmother getting to see another baby graduate.

Joy in the faces of other parents who weren't sure they would get to this point.

Joy in the remarks of teachers who saw their hard work pay off.

And joy--so much joy--in the bright smiles of teenagers who felt accomplished, who felt excitement, who felt ready to take on what's next.

My heart is still sad for what was. I loved this part of my life, and I will feel grief that it is over.

Time will heal my sorrow, but I can live in joy today.

There is a cycle to parenthood that we all experience differently. There are periods of time we wish would move faster and moments we wish would never end.

And sometimes in a sea of emotions, we can choose joy.

Because it's all around us if we open our eyes to see it. 

*I hope you will check out my new book! Link is in my bio.

#graduation2023 #lettinggo #lovinghardwhentheyrehardtolove
Teen boys crack me up! Follow @themotheroctopus Teen boys crack me up! Follow @themotheroctopus
It may sting, but at least they are honest! Follow It may sting, but at least they are honest! Follow @grownandflown
Just not sure what kind of morning it is..... Just not sure what kind of morning it is.....
It's probably going to take a few years.... Follo It's probably going to take a few years....

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Whitney Fleming Writes

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